


I should have...

by olalapuu



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Angst, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 05:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6599302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olalapuu/pseuds/olalapuu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because it was always too late when we realized something. All that's left was nothing but regret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I should have...

**Author's Note:**

> A short and no happy ending drabble because i feel so shitty right now. My second fic here and again, it's a shitty work. No one proof-reading it for plot/story/grammatical errors and English isn't my first language, not even second. Please forgive any mistakes you will find.

The moment Ohno heard about the news, it hit him hard that he couldn’t even move a single muscle, not even for congratulating his best friend. All he could do was turning on his heel and running as far away as he could.

It was as if just yesterday they met at the park near their mansion when they were five.

As if just yesterday they went to high school together.

As if… it was just yesterday when they graduated and Sho had kissed him on the lips and turned his life into a roller coaster.

Thrilling. And exciting.

His life had been all about Sho.

It was crumpled once, when Sho told him he was leaving their hometown for Tokyo for study. College life Ohno wouldn’t even dare to dream of, but Sho was pursuing a better, higher goal in his life.

No promises at their farewell, not that Ohno expected any. But he was just a little boy trapped in a man’s body in his early twenty. Still too young indeed, not knowing how to love properly. But… yeah, it happened so fast he didn’t notice how many years had passed, and they were already thirty.

Ohno was still a little boy spending his time drawing on the shore and taking any part-time jobs at town when he felt like to. Meanwhile Sho had grown up so well, so define, living a life as a young manager in a big company, so far away right over there in Tokyo.

Now that he replayed back his memory…

 _Damn_ , he could have noticed the changes.

Noticed how Sho was busy talking on the phone for twenty minutes during his visits at town, a phone call that would be a little bit too long for a business call.

 _Oh!_ Or when Sho dropped by at town without saying anything to him and by the time he came to Sho’s parent’s house, Sho had left and the happy looks on Sho’s mother’s face.

And _God!!_ How could he not notice how Sho stopped looking at him with his usual warm, loving gaze…

He wasn’t good at studying, or looking for a decent job. But he never expected himself to be a big moron like this.

A big moron who kept waiting for a man he knew would never be a match to him.

That kiss might be just an impulsive thing happened out of curiosity of young boys.

That kiss might be nothing for Sho…

 _Wait._ He vaguely remembered Sho said he loved him.

Loved him so much he didn’t know what to do.

Then why he dated another girl? Was he cheating on him?

No, they weren’t even dating.

Why? They loved each other. They should have been dating.

_No._

That couldn’t happen if… _Right_ , Ohno never told him back he felt the same. He laughed at the words of love Sho had ever whispered to him. He thought it was funny, because it was obvious that he loved Sho too. Why would he insist on confessing to him over and over again when it was clear that…

That they _supposed_ to have each other?

 _Oh, God… No_. Of course Sho would think he take his feeling as a joke when he laughed at him like that. _All the time_.

He choked up as the tears wouldn't want to stop falling, just thinking about how bad he had hurt Sho. The only man he didn't want to see being hurt.

He didn’t want to remember anything again.

The more he dug up his memory, the more painful it got, knowing that it was always him at fault.

He couldn’t take it anymore. No more.

_“I’m sorry”_

At least Sho deserved it. A short message wouldn’t hurt.

He placed down his cellphone on the ground when he finished typing ignoring his trembling hands by the cold night wind. He was standing on the cliff, looking down below at the sea that waiting to catch his broken pieces.

Oh well, he was just a little boy not knowing what to do without the one he loved.


End file.
